[ John can see flickers of things in his eyes when he looks at him sometimes. When he pushes. When he does crowd. He wonders---he wonders if he were to ask to see the dog tag chain around Lorne's neck, would it mirror his? One for himself. One for Sheppard? ]
I don't know if you got the command email or anything, but just about everything here is to my disadvantage.
[ But then Lorne---or not Lorne---makes that comment, and it earns a slight wide eyed expression before Sheppard actually chuckles. ]
And I was starting to think that you guys didn't have it in you to joke. Did you break anything? You need to sit down and take a minute?
[ He shrugs and motions to the edge of the bed. There aren't any chairs really, so. ]
[Is he? Something strange happened. What he just did made Sheppard happy, he can tell - and that in turn causes a small tingling sensation in the back of his head. It feels weird.
It makes him want to joke again.]
Me standing makes you nervous? There's no difference. [He doesn't tire. He's just as fast in his reactions, whether he sits or stands. Sheppard won't have an advantage of it.
[ John says it with a chuckle and a scoff. There's still a lightness to his features, though. A brightness in his eyes that hasn't been there since well, ever. ]
Standing means you're not relaxing. It means you're tense and that makes me tense. Sitting is better.
[ He's still surprised when he does decide to sit, but he doesn't question it. Gift horses and all that. ]
Right in one. I'm not sure if you noticed, but I'm not really a fan of being here. Of this whole plan, and I'm not going to wait around to get used so Mr. Daddy Issues can get to the shiny place.
I noticed, yeah. [It's hard not to, really.] But I don't understand. It brings you nothing but pain.
[Lorne feels neither satisfaction nor joy getting Sheppard in trouble. He's indifferent to all this, as he should be. After all, watching the Colonel is the sole purpose of his existence.
But it seems like he can't keep himself from dealing with the real Lorne's reaction when things get ugly. It's abstract, in a way, just the rational understanding of the fury and regret the real Evan Lorne would experience if he witnessed everything that happened around here. A ghost, a faint impression, something that the replicator can almost look at from the outside.
Almost.]
Why do you care? If I'm relaxing. [Why does he care if Sheppard cares? Why do they sit and talk in the first place?]
Maybe it's the only way I can for sure tell I'm still close to human anymore.
[ It doesn't exactly tickle John either. In fact, it's really the opposite of tickling. Seriously, opposite. He knows why not!Lorne is here. He knows why he keeps him company, and keeps an eye on him. ]
Seems pretty---not replicatory to me is all. Why do you care if I care?
[It's an automatic response and again he wonders. It's the truth, so why not say it?
Because it will undoubtedly please and encourage the Colonel and Koracen wouldn't like it. Not one bit. But Lorne doesn't exist for Koracen and nothing in his directive says that he can't point out simple observations.
[ Sheppard finds more things about not!Lorne every day that remind him of Evan. Things that make him question just how replicator he really is. And when did he start to think of it as him? ]
But you do. Care that is, don't you? Maybe I'm rubbing off on you.
who needs nice things, i like this dumpster.
I don't know if you got the command email or anything, but just about everything here is to my disadvantage.
[ But then Lorne---or not Lorne---makes that comment, and it earns a slight wide eyed expression before Sheppard actually chuckles. ]
And I was starting to think that you guys didn't have it in you to joke. Did you break anything? You need to sit down and take a minute?
[ He shrugs and motions to the edge of the bed. There aren't any chairs really, so. ]
Sit anyways, you're making me nervous.
liek if u cri evrytiem
[Is he? Something strange happened. What he just did made Sheppard happy, he can tell - and that in turn causes a small tingling sensation in the back of his head. It feels weird.
It makes him want to joke again.]
Me standing makes you nervous? There's no difference. [He doesn't tire. He's just as fast in his reactions, whether he sits or stands. Sheppard won't have an advantage of it.
He sits.]
You're making things difficult on purpose.
sob this is just pain. constant pain.
[ John says it with a chuckle and a scoff. There's still a lightness to his features, though. A brightness in his eyes that hasn't been there since well, ever. ]
Standing means you're not relaxing. It means you're tense and that makes me tense. Sitting is better.
[ He's still surprised when he does decide to sit, but he doesn't question it. Gift horses and all that. ]
Right in one. I'm not sure if you noticed, but I'm not really a fan of being here. Of this whole plan, and I'm not going to wait around to get used so Mr. Daddy Issues can get to the shiny place.
no subject
[Lorne feels neither satisfaction nor joy getting Sheppard in trouble. He's indifferent to all this, as he should be. After all, watching the Colonel is the sole purpose of his existence.
But it seems like he can't keep himself from dealing with the real Lorne's reaction when things get ugly. It's abstract, in a way, just the rational understanding of the fury and regret the real Evan Lorne would experience if he witnessed everything that happened around here. A ghost, a faint impression, something that the replicator can almost look at from the outside.
Almost.]
Why do you care? If I'm relaxing. [Why does he care if Sheppard cares? Why do they sit and talk in the first place?]
no subject
[ It doesn't exactly tickle John either. In fact, it's really the opposite of tickling. Seriously, opposite. He knows why not!Lorne is here. He knows why he keeps him company, and keeps an eye on him. ]
Seems pretty---not replicatory to me is all. Why do you care if I care?
[ Smooth, John. ]
no subject
[It's an automatic response and again he wonders. It's the truth, so why not say it?
Because it will undoubtedly please and encourage the Colonel and Koracen wouldn't like it. Not one bit. But Lorne doesn't exist for Koracen and nothing in his directive says that he can't point out simple observations.
Sheppard's question gives him pause.]
Honestly? I don't know.
no subject
[ Sheppard finds more things about not!Lorne every day that remind him of Evan. Things that make him question just how replicator he really is. And when did he start to think of it as him? ]
But you do. Care that is, don't you? Maybe I'm rubbing off on you.