exastris_scientia | the always open post v 3.0

[ There's still practically nothing from Venom, and Jim is more and more convinced that this is not the same man. He's also convinced this was a mistake, coming here, but he's already done it, so---yeah. ]

Oh? Then what would it be the first time for?

[ Jim says it before he can think to reign it back. It's almost a kneejerk response. He starts heading up toward the temple before he can get a proper response to anything else. ]

Yeah, I'm insisting. This is me: insisting.

[ Before he has to look at the stoic face that he'd seen the barest of smiles on. That he'd worked tirelessly to encourage and search for. The hints of the man who took care of a lone bat. Swaddled him against his chest during an evacuation of an alien vessel. This man---is not the same.

He can't be. ]

It's none of your concern-

[Then Jim starts to head up without him. Idiot. The former assassin huffs even louder, grabbing the other man by the collar without even thinking. It's something he's never done before, really. To get so annoyed by someone that he'd lay his hands on them.

But that's when the light catches something on Venom's being: the Starfleet insignia from before. It's firmly pinned to his undershirt, directly over his heart. A memento of the Jim he knew and cared for.]

And people called me reckless...

Somebody's touch---hey!

[ Jim half-yelps but it is more a sound of irritation that leaves him than anything. He gets his feet back under him after he's thrown off-balance a bit, and smacks at the hand on his collar. He could actually break the grip, or attempt to, if he wanted, but he doesn't see the point in starting that fight. He knows enough about the other man to know it'd be a bad idea and a fight he wouldn't win.

He's stock still, though, when the light reflects off what the other man has pinned under his overshirt. He swallows thickly, eyes stinging and watering despite his best efforts and his voice is far too soft as he jerks himself the rest of the way out of the other man's grip. ]

What is that? Where did you get that?

[ He reaches out to keep the fabric of his overshirt from falling to cover the insignia, and his hand is trembling. ]

Where did you get this?

[There's a very slight noise when Venom sucks in his breath. Having Jim's warm hand so close to him, teasing him. The aura and presence are so familiar, yet Venom refuses to believe that the reckless man before him was the one he lov- no, that's too strong a word (even though it describes what he felt perfectly.

He tries his best to keep his icy exterior despite having Jim's hand so close.]

From someone I held in high regard. A man who showed me nothing but affection and respect. He vanished months ago without a word, leaving only this item behind.

[He pauses while his own hand goes up to push the other's away.]

He was James Tiberius Kirk.

[ He hears it. He hears it because some nights he woke up and just listened to both Venom's breathing in the quiet of their house built in the tree, and Bart's soft noises from his perch. He hears it because he's been missing every little nuance since he left the planet he'd been ready to build a home on with the other man.

Jim hadn't intended to vanish without a word. He hadn't meant to. He hadn't wanted to. Something happened and he still isn't certain just what it was that drug him into this place. He used to carry that in his pocket. He'd put it on the nightstand at the end of the day. ]

I thought I'd lost it.

[ It's a hoarse whisper. He breathes shallowly for a moment, trying to wrap his head around this. On the why, to understand it. He can't. Why? Why this? Why now? It hurts all the more when he realizes that this is the man he left behind. The man he had grown so close to and come to care for deeply. This is him and he's been treating him like a stranger, but how would he have known?

It hurts more when he hears his own name come from Venom. It reminds him of nights spent with either his ma (if she were in a good and reminiscent mood) or his brother, asking questions about his father over holos. That wistful look Winona would get when she told a story, like the one about the motorcycle, and how he used to drive her nuts with it. ]

I---I, uh, I have to---[ He doesn't feel right none of this does except it is and he needs---god, he's not sure. He half stumbles away from Venom, pain clear in his eyes and written on his face, before bolting away from the ruined temple. ]

Edited 2017-04-10 15:07 (UTC)

What?

[If that's true, then the Jim he's been acting cold towards is the real one. The one that vanished on him. How could he be so foolish? He could feel it in his heart, yet he was too afraid to even ask because he couldn't bear to get hurt again.

Before he can get any more answers, Jim took off.

Now Venom's determined, and he's coasting after the man.]

Please stop!

[ Jim doesn't wait to answer. He doesn't even look back, even though he knows that Venom is chasing after him. Well, coasting.

He'd try it, but he's faster on his own two feet usually. He still hasn't gotten the hang of the other thing. He's faster when he doesn't feel like he's choking on his own emotions, and his heart is up in his throat. He stops before too long at all, winded emotionally more than anything. His breathing is ragged and his cheeks are wet, and he raises his hands to put them over his face to hide it.

He still has some stubble on his face from the time spent on Thisavrou. ]

No, just---I just need--- [ This is such bullshit he needs a minute. Or five. He's not sure. ]

[When Jim stops, Venom does as well, though he keeps a comfortable distance. He notes the breathing, the wet cheeks, and Jim trying to hide it all. It breaks Venom's heart to see him like this, and all he really wants to do is pull him in and hold him, just like Jim held him in his time of need.

He tries to stay strong despite that, but something slips out.]

Darling.

[ Jim knows that Venom has stopped, but he can't look at him yet. His palms are pressing hard enough into his eyes that he's seeing spots, and he shakes his head violently even though the other man hasn't said anything at all.

He's trying to bring himself back under some semblance of control. To pull himself together. He thinks he's nearly got it, but then he hears Venom use the one and only pet name he'd ever used for him. When Jim had died as the Moira crashed, they hadn't embraced like the old holos of long lost lovers. It was still too new, too fresh.

This time, though--- He lets go a strangled noise, dropping his hands to reveal red-rimmed eyes, and closes the distance between them to throw his arms around the other man, burying his face in his hair. ]

[The sudden embrace stuns the former assassin. But at the same time it's familiar. He softens and returns the hug in stride, finally allowing the icy exterior to dissolve completely. Soon Venom's crying just as hard as his partner, unable to hold it in anymore.]

Jim... I'm sorry... I-I should have known...

[He tightens his grip, sobbing into Jim's shoulder.]

[ Jim knows that Venom only recently came to be more open to this sort of thing, and he's to thank for it. The little touches, the holding, the cuddling, and everything in between. It's been months, though, months and he's still reeling from the shock of being dropped into this place.

He tries to laugh but it's a choked sound, tears muddling his voice. ]

You should have known? I was t---the asshole giving you the cold shoulder. I---should be apologizing.

[ The last time he'd had a moment like this was just after the Academy. They hadn't thought there were any survivors of the Battle of Vulcan, and Jim had secreted away a scarf that Gaila had left behind in his quarters. Uhura had pretended not to notice it hastily hidden away when she came to ask if he had any of her things. It would take weeks for him to learn that she had survived.

It almost made him believe in miracles. ]

[To this day, Jim's the only man who's seen his tears as an adult, and the only one he allowed past his icy barrier. Venom honestly felt human around him, like he could relax and act like he wasn't at work all the time.

To have that back after so long... Venom hugs him tight, like a lifeline that could disappear at any moment.]

Jim... please don't let me go...

[He soon pulls the other man into a kiss, not caring if it's a little sloppy.]

[ Jim is not unaware of the fact that he is privy to many things that few others have ever seen of the former assassin, and those have always been things he's held near and dear to his heart. To share this journey with him, to find themselves separate from what they thought to make up the whole of them, and learn that together they are even stronger and better.

His breath leaves him in the tight embrace, partially due to it, and due to his own overwhelming emotions. He doesn't try to pull away. ]

I won't, Venom. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.

[ When there is space enough that the other man pulls him into a kiss, a little sloppy and tearful still and perfect. He returns it with all the desperateness of a man dying of thirst. ]

[Venom deepens the kiss as much as he can, possibly bruising his lips in the process. Not that he cares. Jim's worth every bit of pain. He was his first, his everything.

All the desire, lust, and passion that he suppressed begins to emerge, though Venom tries to stave it off for the sake of the moment. He gently breaks the kiss, wiping some of Jim's tears away with his gloved thumb.

He wants to say more, but no words come. He lets his actions speak for him as his next kiss is gentle, sweeter.]

the always open post v 3.0

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